Divorce is a painful thing to go through for a couple. The Kids even suffer the most. Having to divide their attention and affection under different roofs because their mum and dad live separately. Their lives get torn in the middle.
During divorce, the court rules mostly in favour of the woman. She usually walks away with most, if not all of what the couple ever had together. The man ends up with rage, anger, bitterness and feeling frustrated. This mostly drives the man into total depression.
who is at fault?
Discussions have sparked on different social media platforms as the death of yet another nurse and her ex-husband surface in the USA. This time in the Cameroonian society.
Does anyone deserve hardship after hard labor? Who wants to see their kids raised by another man or woman or even away from them? Who wants to break their homes in a divorce?
Yes divorce does come with an ugly side but who deserves to take the life of another?
Annie Takam is a Cameroonian based in Ohio. Sources say, she was killed by her ex-husband, Chris Takam, who also hails from West Cameroon. Chris Takam also killed himself.
Annie Came to the USA after marrying her husband, Chris Takam. She attended the Cincinnati State Technical and Community College. Annie graduated as a Registered Nurse in 2018 .Annie Takam is a mother of three, two boys and a girl. The oldest son is 18 years old.
Chris Takam had returned to cameroon to Marry Annie after he had built a life for himself in the USA. According to sources, Chris invested lots of money, to train his ex-wife Annie to become a Registered Nurse. A close relation said “Annie filed for a divorce as she started dating another man”.
Chris could not bear it all. He lost his wife, his house, his investment, everything he owns. He only could have visitation from his kids on a bi-weekly bases. Chris Takam took matters in own hands and ended the life of Annie. Chris called police before ending his own life.
See video below.
There is no home without problems. Hence, whatever the case, it should not yield the loss of valuable life.
It is absolutely selfish to deprive these children of their parents. Their lives will never be the same again without their parents.
What is wrong with these Kinds of marriages between unknown persons?
- Most girls from Africa will quickly accept to marry anyone from a western country. They do that hoping for a better life. These girls may go as far as abandoning years of relationship they might have had. They therefore marry an unknown man from abroad.
- In most cases, there is usually no iota of love. The push behind such unions is a life abroad, jobs opportunities, peer pressure, source of support for their families. It usually has nothing to do with loving the man.
Some girls in these circumstances have a different agenda. These girls stay loyal and get married to these men. Therefore, as soon as they get abroad and settle in, things start to change. The girl now has a job, a house and property, they will cause an issue for the man to be thrown out of the house by the police or courts. That way, they become entitled to everything.
Well listening to the video, the lady speaking, act as if this has never happened in there community. They may not use guns, but they do murder each other. This sad because ppl do anything to come up in life, the is sad because, he thinks he did everything right and lost it all. the women are hoping for a better life, and the men are looking for a good wife.
Everyone wants something but how they get it is the issue. Several cases of men mistreating women just because they came to the USA or Europe or just out of Africa through them. So many other girls marry just to get out of misery. No love, no respect. The relation is heading for a crash. It’s a sad situation
This is something we see regularly. We really hope it doesnt become new normal.
This article is so one-sided. Have you thought of the fact that the man might have been abusing her because it is his attitude and because he thinks that bringing her to America gives him the right to abuse her. Taking the fact that their oldest child is 18 yrs old, then they must have spent some years together. She has certainly been doing most of the job bringing up their children, cooking, cleaning etc. that’s also to be appreciated.
I believe the court analyses the situation well before taking decisions. It’s not just the matter of getting everything on your side because you’re a woman. The mentality behind this article is so destructive
whatever the case might be, killing you both and making your kids orphans is just not the right way.
I share the same opinion with you. It is so easy to assume that he worked hard and she ended up with every thing. They raised 3 children and she only graduated in 2018 so she’s spent so many years as a homemaker.
It is not time to blame or justify any ones action here.
It is just sad and terrible that someone has to find themselves in such a dark moment to decide to do something this terrible.
I pray God grant the children rest and healing
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omg
Killing is a sin and something not to behold. The system too is bad. All humans are equal and should be given equal consideration in all cases.
The system should protect the accuser and the accused. Most cases of domestic violence in western countries is either abuse or fraud. Investigation should go in both directions. So that no one is cheated.
But this is not the case in America.
She endured abusive relationship for more than 18 years?
After she had graduated from RN program through the man’s sponsorship that she realized being abused.
How likely is it for an abusive African spouses to support their partners?
Why not share the kids among them for fairness.
According to the story, the man had been the sole breadwinner of the family for 18 good years. Not granted shared custody.
There is a broad gap between American marital culture and African marital culture. Judges of Western descent should not preside over matters of such.
It is a very pathetic situation, no sentiment. It is uncalled for and should not have happened.
Only God knows the truth and why.
Wow, to avoid all these, let’s get to the root cause of these marital problems. Men, please marry here in the US, where the women here in the US that already know you and what you are. Women marry in Africa or marry who you know and love, ask people they know here before you jump in. Men, the woman is not your property. Treat her as an equal. Woman respect your husband just as you would want to be respected.
Men, maybe when the lady or woman is going to nursing school, you too can go to medical school or nursing school too. This way, you too can enjoy this thing the nurses are enjoying here in the USA.
Or before you go to marry her, please go to school and become a nurse or APRN, or law school or an engineering school, pharmacy school, become an accountant, and position yourself as the breadwinner and the head of the household. When both of you are working and going to school together, both of you must have invested on yourselves.
No one should be anyone’s cash cow. That goes both ways.
Please, this man did not go back to marry her. They were married back in Cameroon about 29 years ago, before he came to the US. They struggled together and he came to the US first. It could have been the other way around and she would also have been obligated to bring him once it was possible. This woman worked and contributed to the household. This 20year marriage didn’t just break down in one day. Stop pushing this crazy story everyone is running on without knowing their domestic affairs!
I meant 20 years ago. Not 29 years ago.
It saddens me because the kids are the victim of a divorce or situation that can be maturely resolved with everybody working away peacefully.
I’ve seen marriages that are irreconcilable but parents maturely still agree on a way forward without hurting anyone and also help the kids in parenting.
Women we can have it all. Greed kills and destroy so many things
Do divorce has to end bitterly?
It saddens me because the kids are the victim of a divorce or situation that can be maturely resolved with everybody working away peacefully.
I’ve seen marriages that are irreconcilable but parents maturely still agree on a way forward without hurting anyone and also help the kids in parenting.
Women we can have it all. Greed kills and destroy so many things
Do divorce has to end bitterly?
While I agree with some things you said, you also have a bunch of inaccuracies in your narrative. These two were married almost 20 years ago in Cameroon. They have an 18 year old son. They struggled together in Cameroon and Chris left for the US. Of course, he had the obligation to bring his wife and son to the US. Also, you do know that people pay for education using student loans. Annie worked two jobs while going to school and contributed to the household expenses including paying the mortgage and caring for the family and kids. You seem to think she is property and was just a liability in his life. We do not know the details of their domestic life. Plus the date of a divorce is not the date of a separation. People separate and then divorce. And they have the right to move on. A man who will kill like this probably also had much more going on during the many years they were together. Close friends of the family say he had extramarital affairs which contributed to their separation. He didn’t want her but also didn’t want her to be with anyone else. Judging from outside is easy. So please, though it may seem salacious to write such stories about people you do not know, do not always be quick to blame the woman. Yes, there are women who find opportunity in marrying men they barely know. But this wasn’t the case and the majority of women will bare with abuse and maltreatment and still get blamed when they finally take a stand for themselves and their kids. But like I said, women are always the first to shoot down another woman without ever asking how it got to this.
THANK YOU. I’m sick of people assuming these stories happen from a stereotypical point of view. The women such as this lady suffer so much and have pressure from all sides. I’m glad someone came to explain what happened as I guessed some of these factors were involved.
Whatever the case maybe, we are not blaming either of them. We are going by what the story told. No one else, can tell the story better than the two of them. What is obvious that the judgement was not fair enough. The story mentioned the woman had a boyfriend and article confirmed that. There is speculation that the man, had extramarital affair, no article had proven that yet. Many women do suspect their spouses, most times the man is innocent. Lefty is never learnt at old age. The lady did not just woke immediately after divorce and got herself a boyfriend. That’s a game she knows very well. I had seen widows go without boyfriend at all. African culture does not permit divorce and boyfriend, even after separation . Especially, a marriage that produced child/ren. What will the child/ren emulate? Africans believe that children follow their custodian parents footsteps. If the parents jump from one bed to another, so will their kids. You know the end result.It is high time, America started respecting African culture, culture is people’s way of life. Nobody can change people’s way of life(culture). I am sure many of us still eat out ethnic diet, more than we embrace American menu.
However, the problem in African marriages most times, is not about the man using the woman as a house help or whatever. Here, is American marriage style and African marital tradition. Believe it or not, American way of marriage favors the man way more than African style.
The problem is that our African women do not want the marital relationship to follow one of these two styles. The women want a combination of both, but only where it favors them. Even if the man is the richest man on earth, there will still be problem, provided he does not make himself a robot in the house.
Fair judgment by shared physical custody of the children , would have saved these two precious lives. .
Nothing warrants the lost of lives in marriage. Only that some people are not christians and do not have the heart to bear setbacks. It is not uncommon for many peaceful marriages in Africa to shatter when they move to Africa. Believe it or not, many African couples in America today, who appear to be peaceful, will equally shatter if they should move back to Africa. People should be judged according to their custom, just as the Bible says that God will judge us according to our custom. African culture does not support premarital sex and it is hard for people to have a dating relationship devoid of sex. Therefore, it is not uncommon for Africans to marry their spouses as strangers. It is crystal clear that our African women claim abuse to win cases in court. Even when it is obvious that the abuse claim is false.
It is only a blind person that cannot tell someone who had been abused for 20 years. All the same, there are cultural differences, what one culture considers as abuse, maybe normal in another culture.
Emma…Wow, are you really defending abuse in the name of culture? I don’t know if she was being abused or not. But your point is that abuse should be tolerated because we’re Africans? Really!! I grew up seeing abuse and I’ll never ever live in it again. So please stop talking such nonsense.
Kim, I don’t know your situation, where, and how you had come thus far. You had already shown me the stuff you are made of. You are the first to say that I am talking nonsense. Whereas, I am talking according to story and my perspective. You have abused me. Do you now believe that women are abusers too, just like you. I don’t know the couple, I am just going by the story. Whether we want to hear it or not, everyone has a culture. It doesn’t matter if another culture considers your cultural practices as abuse. I never supported abuse and violence in any way. Even, in Africa. The point I am trying to make clear, is that people are taking undue advantage of American marital laws to defraud the system and spouses. There is fake/counterfeit in everything in world today. It is left for us to differentiate. Many African spouse abuse claims in America are fake and fraudulent. Period. Such should be thoroughly investigated , so that innocent people will not be punished. The first thing many African men learn in America is to stay away from violating their laws. Should I believe that a man abused his wife for over 18 years, without record of it, or evidence. No. We talk as if there are no happy homes in Africa. There are more happy homes in Africa than America. Most situations I had seen women abused in marriage is more of religious beliefs than culture.
THANK YOU. I’m sick of people assuming these stories happen from a stereotypical point of view. The women such as this lady suffer so much and have pressure from all sides. I’m glad someone came to explain what happened as I guessed some of these factors were involved. RIP Annie
The cultural background of Chris Takam may have instigated him to commit the murder.
There are certain ethnic groups in Cameroon; who view women as commodities i.e. once the men have paid the required “bride price”, they feel like they now own the lady and don’t bother to treat the lady nice as she is their property… and the lady doesn’t have any choice but to submit and remain faithful to her husband till the day she becomes a widow. In addition, divorce is a taboo in most African communities.
In the western world, the case is different i.e. the US has put in place laws which protects women. As the pidgin saying goes….NA WHO GO STAND FOR CORNER WATER AND THEN SOAP DI ENTER YI EYE????
Chris Anu (who felt like somebody has taken his property) decided to end her life to prevent the white guy from using his “property”.
To learn more, read the article;Craig Bryson; Boyfriend of Annie; the Cameroonian nurse Killed by Ex Husband; Chris Takam pays heartfelt tribute to his beloved girl friend…https://solowayne.com/craig-bryson-boyfriend-of-annie-the-cameroonian-nurse-killed-by-ex-husband-chris-takam-pays-heartfelt-tribute-to-his-beloved-girl-friend/
Emma, you talk about religion and God. Yet so judgy. After a separation, everyone has a right to happiness. And stop pretending like marriage in Africa is idealistic. People separate everyday in Africa. Worst of all, the culture was for the man to throw the woman out or get second and third wives. What culture are you talking about? Don’t pick and choose and judge.
Well, if getting a boyfriend in marriage is the only thing that makes you happy, fine. Just be truthful about it and at all times. I am not judging anyone. You are the one judging Africa from their dark history. Those practices are no more in Africa. Do you remember those days in Africa, most couples are not educated, the women do not work. America claims that everyone is equal, let there be true equality. There is no reason to believe one person and not the other, irrespective of what she says. There is no reason to favor one person in a relationship and not the other in a relationship. Had it been things were distributed equally, this would have been avoided. Nobody knows what exactly transpired during their relationship. Let’s avoid speculations. Taking ones life is evil and should be avoided. No one enters a relationship with the intention of being in crisis .
It is very very pathetic that love should turn so bitter to result in the loss of life. No person can create life, so nobody has the right to kill another. There are silent killers who cause open killing, and both must be avoided.
Both men and women, or husbands and wives should embrace equity and fair deal at all times even if the law is one sided. Some people have no conscience and thus fail to put themselves in the shoes of another. Let us try to maintain good conscience even if one is not religious. A good consciences lives toabove full the law, and no law would be needed if humans could live with godly conscience. Remember that
(1) two evils don’t make right.
(2) there is judgement after death, and people found evil enter he’ll for eternity.
Therefore, we should be fair to others, manage our emotions to prevent being dragged into evil regardless. Take things easy knowing that no one can take wealth into the grace. It is better to be cheated than to be a cheat. jm